


Understanding

by Asami_T



Series: Asami's One-Shots [11]
Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Social Anxiety, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17063669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asami_T/pseuds/Asami_T
Summary: Ranma has some thoughts on her mind.





	Understanding

**Author's Note:**

> A brief fic which came to me as a lay in my bed, trying to sleep. Enjoy it.

The evening sun hung on the farthest horizon, bathing the city of Tokyo in an orange glow. Along the canal that ran down the center of the Nerima Ward, a pensive pair of women sat along the basin, watching the sun set, and people pass by on their way home.

The pensiveness was broken by the darker haired of the two.

“In moments like this, Ranma, you seem so at peace with everything. Why… do you act so different when we’re around people?” Akane asked quietly, peering at her fiancee.

Ranma scratched her cheek quietly, initially not responding to Akane’s question. She frowned and said quietly, “It’s a complicated answer, ’Kane.”

“I imagine it is, but I want to know the answer,” Akane said.

“Alright,” Ranma murmured. “The first problem is that I… I don’t really know how to deal with this whole gender thing. There are days I really do feel like I’m just a boy with a curse, and other days I really feel like I’d rather be the girl I turn into when you toss a glass of cold water on me. I can’t really peg it down to a science, and it just goes around and around non-stop.”

“Ranma, if that’s true… then why do you protest so loudly about being a man when challenged by your parents?” Akane asked.

“Because I’m supposed to be a man amongst men, I can’t be a girl.”

“That’s your choice to make, not theirs,” Akane said, frowning. “And even then, I am more than certain even your parents would accept you–and if they don’t, you have others who would. I know I would, and I know my family would. You’ve lived with us long enough to be family, and I am more than sure Daddy would come down on your side in the end.”

“Even if I beat that fifteen-hundred kilo gorrilla in the room, I…” Ranma trailed off, uncertain about how to say it.

“I’m afraid of being seen as something _different_. At least in this case I am still mostly seen as a boy, and treated in a manner that affords me some strange normalcy. If I become _other_ I open myself up to a lot of things, not just from Pops and Ma. I’d be **different** to everyone, including the school, society, people… I’m too afraid to do that to myself because I don’t trust my will to live under being treated like that.”

“I thought Saotomes always took challenges,” Akane said, laying back on the grass.

“We do, but there’s a difference between something that is temporary, and something that is permanent. You can’t just take back these changes and expect people to treat you the same. And what if your father _doesn’t_ want me around? What if Ma insists on fulfilling the honor arrangement? What if someone decides that the best way to take care of the martial artist transvestite is to blow their brains all over the wall? I may be a master of martial arts, Akane, but I can’t outstrip a bullet. I ain’t a wizard or anythin’ like that.”

“You don’t seriously think someone would try to shoot you, do you?” Akane asked, incredulously.

“Maybe not, but I ain’t exactly itchin’ to try. Also, maybe it’s just my road-traveled understandin’ but more people than not don’t approve of bein’ gay and shit. I can’t fathom not bein’ able to marry you an’ stuff because I decided I wanna be a girl. I don’t want the government or someone tellin’ me my love is worth less because I’m a girl, not a boy. I also don’t wanna open myself and my family up to bein’ targeted by ignorant people who think that we’re degenerates.”

Akane quietly pondered Ranma’s ranting, before shaking her head. “Do you always sit and think of the worst-case scenarios?”

“Always. My anxiety never lets me sleep otherwise,” Ranma said, shrugging her shoulders as if it couldn’t be helped.

“And if someone offered to fix your problems?”

“I’d feel bad, like I’m takin’ advantage of people’s kindness and hospitality. I can’t just live life off of others, I gotta be my own person eventually. I’ve lived in the shadows of people for too long, takin’ up their space and time with my bullshit. Eventually I gotta just be Ranma Saotome, and not be someone’s free meal ticket, or someone’s heir, or someone’s hopes for knowledge. I gotta make my own path to my destiny, or somethin’ like that.”

“Supporting you isn’t taking advantage. I know certainly I’ve never seen it that way.”

“No, but sometimes I see it that way. I also just don’t fancy bein’ helpless either. I can’t stand not being able to control my own fate, to give in to another person… it’s just not in my nature.”

“Maybe someday that’ll change, Ranma… and you can be happy with yourself.”

“I’m sure it will, but for now, I live with these problems because I don’t see any alternative yet. It’s either this, or effectively signing my own death warrant, and I dunno about you, but I ain’t ready to take a dirt nap just yet.”

Akane rested her head on Ranma’s shoulder. “I’ll always support you, Ranma. Even when times are tough.”

“I know, Akane. That’s why I love ya so much.” Ranma said with a slight smile.


End file.
